24 septembre 2009
Anger as recovery phase after smoking
Anger is a normal and expected emotional recovery phase. It is also a means to
experience the flow of missing adrenaline, once part of our nicotine high. Sadly,
underlying anger anxieties can be used to intentionally fuel rage. I take no pride
in recalling that I could intentionally became so nasty, and create so much turmoil
among those I loved, that I could convince them that I needed my cigarettes back.
But there are fine distinctions between anger felt during the emotional recovery
stage and using anger as an adrenaline crutch or sick relapse ploy. The anger
phase of recovery is a period of healing where we begin to awaken to the
realization that it may be within our ability to pull this off and succeed. That just
maybe, our last puff, dip or chew, ever, is already behind us.
Durable nicotine use memories flowing from captive dopamine pathways elevated
that next fix to one of life’s top priorities. But emotional recovery has now
transported us from fear of quitting to fear of success. Is it any wonder that anger
would be the mind’s reaction? It is now being struck with the very real prospect
that a high priority relationship has come to an end. Is it at all surprising that
anger can foster resentment at leaving, and envy of those still using?
Knowing the root cause, now all the quitter needs is some excuse, any excuse, to
let it all out, to vent, to turn a molehill into a mountain. Conflicting motivations,
freedom or feed-em, risk of succeeding, fear of the unknown; just one spark, any
spark, and an overwhelmed and exaggerating mind stands primed to lash out.
While this high-energy phase of the emotional stage of goodbye is a normal step in
recovery, the educated quitter both recognizes its arrival and understands anger’s
roots.
Recognition is critical as it provides a protective seed of reason inside a
mind looking for a spark, a loaded mind in which intense exaggeration is poised to
abandon rational thought.
If allowed, that spark will activate the body’s fight or flight response, releasing a
cascade of more than one hundred chemicals and hormones.
But knowledge’s seed of reason knows that breaking nicotine’s grip upon our mind
and life is not a logical reason to fight, lash out, become enraged or flee. It knows
that an exaggerating mind is not an honest mind. It is a mind sick with tunnel
vision, which ignores all positives while focusing only on negative. It knows that
the spark is not the issue.
The issue is emotional recovery.
So how does a mind trained in recognizing and understanding recovery anger
prevent it from harming both us, and the world around us? The next Chapter on
subconscious recovery provides a number of techniques for navigating a crave
episode which may not peak for three minutes. In that anxiety underlies both crave episodes and anger episodes they’ll serve you well. Let me leave you with
one exercise in creating the patience needed to move beyond anger.
Mounting inner recovery frustrations have just encountered a spark. Have
patience, just one micro-second at a time. Recognize the anger building within.
Understand what’s happening and why. Realize that unless being physically
assaulted that only bad can come from unleashing our body’s fighting chemicals.
Anger is almost never a solution. It reflects primitive instincts that are out of
control. It brings strong potential to harm both us and innocent victims, leaving
emotional wounds that may never heal.
If possible, sit down. Slowly close your eyes while taking a deep breath. Focus
all concentration on your favorite color or object, or upon the sensations associated
with inhaling and exhaling that next breath. Feel the cool air entering and its
warmth while slowly exhaling. Baby steps, just one second at a time. Take
another slow deep breath while maintaining total inner focus. Feel the sense of
calm and inner peace as it begins to spread. Slowly open your eyes as you begin to
sense that your body’s fighting chemicals no longer flow. Hopefully it is now safe
to respond to the spark with logic, reason and calm.348
How long will the anger phase last? As long as allowed. Can in-depth
understanding of the emotional journey allow us to skip it altogether? Possibly
but we have no studies.
Clearly knowledge can provide the insights needed to
recognize transitions and hopefully react in healthy, non-destructive ways. It’s
what anger management is all about. Hopefully understanding and acceptance
will help accelerate emotional recovery. But if not, don’t be disturbed as each step
reflects deep and profound emotional healing.
Fears, cycling emotions, an addict’s relapse ploy or feeling a sense of loss,
recovery offers plenty of opportunities to encounter anger. We also need to
remember that normal everyday life can produce anger too, even in never-users.
At times, anger’s causes may overlap and get tangled. But even then, we have it
within us to fully control anger impulses, without harm to innocent bystanders or
us.
Once things calm, where does the mind turn next? What is anger’s solution? Why
not try to cut a deal to keep our cake while having eaten it too? But this isn’t
about cake. It’s about a highly addictive chemical with tremendous impact upon
our physical, subconscious, conscious and emotional well-being.
25 août 2009
I can’t quit
I’ve made it no secret over the years that my favorite Joel Spitzer article is the one entitled, “I Can’t Quit or I Won’t Quit.” It’s about a lady who enrolled in one of Joel’s two-week clinics, which involved six, two-hour sessions. She advised Joel up front that, "I don't want to be called on during this clinic. I am quitting smoking, but I don't want to talk about it. Please don't call on me." Joel said, “Sure. I won't make you talk, but if you feel you would like to interject at anytime, please don't hesitate to.” She grew angry. "Maybe I am not making myself clear, I don't want to talk! If you make me talk I will get up and walk out of this room. If you look at me with an inquisitive look on your face, I am leaving! Am I making myself clear?"
Surprised by the force of her reaction, he said he’d honor her request. Although he still
hoped she’d change her mind and share her experiences with the group, Joel was no longer
expecting it.
With approximately 20 participants, it was a good group except for two women in back who
“gabbed constantly.” Others
were forced to turn around and
ask them to be quiet. The
women would stop for a few
seconds and then were right
back at it. Sometimes, when
other people were sharing sad,
personal experiences, they
would be laughing at some
humorous story they had shared
with each other, oblivious to
surrounding happenings, recalls
Joel.
On the third day of the clinic it
happened. The two ladies in the
back were talking away as usual
when a young lady asked if she
could speak to the group first because she had to leave. The two in the back continued their
private conversation as if she wasn’t there. The young woman said, "I can't stay, I had a
horrible tragedy in my family today, my brother was killed in an accident. I wasn't even
supposed to come tonight; I am supposed to be helping my family making funeral
arrangements. But I knew I had to stop by if I was going to continue to not smoke."
She’d remained nicotine-free for two days and not smoking was obviously important. Joel
recalls that the group “felt terrible, but were so proud of her, it made what happened in their
day seem so trivial. All except the two ladies in the back of the room. They actually heard
none of what was happening,” writes Joel. “When the young woman was telling how close
she and her brother were, the two gossips actually broke out laughing. They weren't
laughing at the story, they were laughing at something totally different not even aware of
what was being discussed in the room.” The young lady excused herself to return to her
family, said she’d keep in touch and thanked the group for their support.
A few minutes later Joel was relating a story to the group when all of a sudden the lady who
had requested anonymity interrupted him. "Excuse me Joel," she said loudly. "I wasn't
going to say anything this whole program. The first day I told Joel not to call on me. I told
him I would walk out if I had to talk. I told him I would leave if he tried to make me talk. I
didn't want to burden anyone else with my problems. But today I feel I cannot keep quiet
any longer. I must tell my story." The room went quiet.
02 avril 2009
Tobacco Slims
Light cigarettes with high-quality tobacco Karelia Slims, made in Greece, Karelia Tobacco Company, four years at the international tobacco market. 6 mg of tar and 0.6 mg of nicotine in cigarettes.
30 juin 2008
R.J. Reynolds Tobacco names Gilchrist
R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. has named Andrew Gilchrist executive vice president, chief financial officer and chief information officer, effective July 1.
Gilchrist, who has served as senior vice president and chief financial officer since 2006, will replace Donald Lamonds, who is retiring Aug. 1 after 30 years.
Gilchrist joined Brown & Williamson Tobacco Corp. in 1997 and held a number of management positions there and with the company's former parent company, British American Tobacco. Gilchrist later held executive positions at R.J. Reynolds or its parent company, Reynolds American Inc.
Kirsten Valle
County officials have issued a stop-work order for the luxury condo tower at the EpiCentre, a project already brought to a standstill because of a dispute between the EpiCentre and its residential building's developers.
Mecklenburg County Code Enforcement announced the order Thursday, citing safety reasons. Work on the 50-story 210 Trade building stopped in February, with two floors built, because of a disagreement over technical building-code issues.
The dispute has prompted lawsuits from both affiliates of Indianapolis-based Flaherty & Collins Properties, which is developing the condo tower, and the Charlotte-based Ghazi Co., which is developing the rest of the EpiCentre, a high-profile mixed-use complex being built at Trade and College streets.
The county's stop-work order, which affects the residential portion of the project only, will remain in place, with decisions on the remaining issues deferred until Sept. 15, according to a news release. Code enforcement Director James Bartl said the order simply keeps developers from starting work again without talking to the county. The building's final certificate of occupancy will not be issued until the code issues are resolved, the release said.
The code enforcement office and Charlotte Fire Department have seen “some evidence over the past 15 days that the owners of the property are considering taking steps to resolve their code issues,” the release said. The county's decision allows those groups to continue to work toward solving the problems, it said. Kirsten Valle